Heips!
Voisitteko laittaa parhaita englanninkielisiä vitsejä? Pitäis laittaa jotain Australialaiselle kaverille, muttei ole hirveenä aikaa alkaa selaileen vitsipalstoja. Saa olla ihan millasia vaan, kaksimielisiä, blondijuttuja jne.
Kiitos kaikille ja kauniita syyspäiviä!
Englanninkielisiä vitsejä
Viivi
20
11503
Vastaukset
- Brain död
-Are you okay?
-No, i'm Steve. - otava
pleasures has a munk?"
"None" - gd
Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name!!"
Woman: "That's in the phone book too." - lauantai
Why is 6 affraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9
:D - Hequ
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things...
1 -The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 -The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3 -I'm a 6 feet tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 -The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 -The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."- on
paras!!
- Hequ (again)
The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You're a Siamese twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. But you only have one ass.
Feel better?- toi
oli liikaa.
- hequa
toi kirjoitti:
oli liikaa.
it is really bad joke!! lol
- hequ
The taxi driver picks up a nun. After a little while, he turns and says to the nun, "Sister, I've always wondered what it would be like to get a blowjob from a nun." The nun smiles and says, "Well, perhaps I can grant your wish if you are Catholic and go to church." The cabbie says, "Yes, I am Catholic and, yes, I go to church." So, he pulls over and the nun gives him the best blowjob he ever had. They get back on the road and, as he's about to drop the nun off, the cab driver says, "Sister, I have a confession. I'm not Catholic. I'm Jewish, and I don't go to church." The nun says, "I, too, have a confession. My name is Dave and I'm going to a costume party."
- hequ
A Side Order of Blondes
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," yells the other blonde. - hequ
A Side Order of Blondes
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," yells the other blonde.- -Hequ-
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home. - HQ
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself! - HQ
HQ kirjoitti:
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!Beware the Blonde Terrorist
Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husband's car?
She burned her lips on the tailpipe!
---------
Blond Father
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
-----------
Blonde - Death in the Family
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
-------------
the best one
What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?
Osama bin Latte
---
Asian Lady
There was an Asian lady who married an English gentleman and moved to London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but anyhow managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. So she brought her husband to the store...
'cause he spoke English.
--------
that is all of them
www.jokes.com - me
-Hequ- kirjoitti:
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.!!!!!!!
- Hequ
me kirjoitti:
!!!!!!!
leave, left left = lähteä jättää!
disney left on imperfektissä et disney lähti!
- hequa
oli paras?
- Anonyymi
Moro
- Anonyymi
david beats a meat, and next he beats his seat(car) and by getting drunked (by drinking heavily 100% pirtu alcohol) he beats his friend (whos last name is peat). Is this a humorous poem? Onks tää humoristinen runo(verbaaliakrobatiaa vähän juice leskisen riimittelytyyliin??)
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